Angels of a Feather
by Bopdawoo
Summary: Kid Icarus oneshots collection. Now playing: Why Pit Doesn't Have a Halo. Pit wants to know what it's like to have a halo, so Lady Palutena gives him one. Let's just say he didn't have it for long.
1. Hunger Pangs

**Hunger Pangs**

 **Pit wants a grilled cheese, but Viridi won't help him. So, he resorts to more creative methods of persuasion.**

 **Characters: Pit, Viridi**

 **Rating:** **K+**

 **Genre: humor**

 **Length: ~900 words.**

 **this is nothing short of ridiculous. pit is a dork**

 **Also, this is a rewrite of an older oneshot of mine! Now if only I could post something new!**

… … …

Pit let out a sigh, slumping in his chair like melting ice cream. This was _literally_ the most boring thing ever.

Lady Palutena had some super important Goddess duties to do today, so she sent Pit to Viridi's place for the day. Which was totally fine!- Pit understood completely. Super duper important, couldn't be interrupted, he got it.

But then his 3DS ran out of batteries, and now his phone was about to die too. And the Nature Goddess didn't have a single outlet in her temple to plug into. Not _one_. Not even attached to a nature friendly power source!

Which was, in Pit's frank opinion, _absurd._

Apparently Viridi didn't know the meaning of fun, because instead of doing something normal, like video games, she was in her workshop, brainstorming new ideas for troops. Pit was there, too, for lack of anything better to do.

He slumped further in his chair with a groan. This was _so_ not fun.

Then his stomach rumbled, and Pit was slightly relieved, because eating something yummy for lunch was better than sitting in a chair being _bored out of his mind._

The angel piped up, "hey, Viridi?"

The Nature Goddess barely looked up as she asked, "what is it, Pit?"

"I'm hungry," he said.

There was a beat of silence as she fiddled with a pinecone, then, "what do you want _me_ to do about it?"

"Hmm…" Pit looked up in thought, wondering what would sound good for lunch. "Make me a grilled cheese," he decided finally.

"Go make it yourself, I'm busy," Viridi groused. She was more irritable than usual today, Pit noticed. Probably because of being asked to watch over him on such short notice.

But he grinned in spite of that, because making his own lunch would be _way more_ fun than waiting for someone to make it for him. Maybe he could even make something for Viridi!

With that in mind, Pit sprang up and made for the door, but stopped himself short.

"Uh, Viridi?"

" _What?_ "

"Where's the kitchen?"

She huffed, "why don't you go be independent and find it yourself?"

"That would take too long! This place is _huge_!" Pit argued. "And plus, what if I get lost?"

"I can just warp you back here," she said, still playing around with the pinecone.

Pit groaned; she made a good point. But he didn't _want_ to spend an hour wandering around her temple! He just wanted lunch, was that too much to ask?

With a huff, the angel returned to his seat and plopped down again. His stomach grumbled again and he groaned. How would he get Viridi to show him where the kitchen was? "Can't you just show me to the kitchen? Or make a map or something?"

"I'm _busy_."

"Okay, fine, I guess I'll just starve to death."

"Go for it."

Her last response left Pit completely unamused, but it _did_ give him a brilliant idea. If he couldn't get her to show him to the kitchen with words alone, then maybe a bit of... _theatrics_ would do the trick.

So the next time, Pit's stomach rumbled, he made a show of it.

The angel gripped his middle with his best cry of anguish. "Augh, woe is me!" he wailed. "My stomach is empty, and yet no food is in sight! _If only_ some kindly goddess would show me the way to the kitchen!"

Viridi did not react, although Pit couldn't see her eye twitch from where he was sitting. So he decided to step it up.

"Oh, dear!" he cried, sagging in the chair with an arm draped dramatically over his forehead. "I may be too weak to make it to the kitchen! I'll have to be carried, lest I meet my demise…" Pit trailed off dramatically, as he'd seen characters in movies do when _they_ were dramatic.

Viridi still didn't respond.

Pit continued.

"Oh, the hunger pangs! Oh, the unbearable pain! I fear that not even a grilled cheese could save me now!" With his best wail, Pit leaned to one side and let himself fall out of the chair. Unfortunately, the chair didn't fall over with him as he planned, so he kicked it, and it toppled with a clatter. "It's gone too far, this is the end of me!" he cried, and rolled onto his back with one hand extended dramatically upwards. "But, lo! My suffering shall end soon, for I can see the light!"

"I bet that's your goddess putting you out of your misery."

Completely unamused, Pit glared at the back of Viridi's head, from where he was splayed out on the floor like a starfish. He couldn't let her get to him, he was getting so close!

"Oh no! The hunger!... It's too strong! It's uncontrollable! I might have to eat my boots!"

"That should be interesting to watch."

"Tell Lady Palutena that my sacrifice was not in vain!"

"I'll text her later."

 _Seriously?_ Viridi didn't even _have_ a phone!

Pit let out his final wail. "It's gone past the point of no return! I can feel my stomach eating itself!" He rolled onto his side in fetal position. "Oh, the pain! I can feel my stomach acid eating me! Consuming my-"

"ALRIGHT ENOUGH!" Viridi roared. "I'll take you to the kitchen, just please _shut up_!"

As the Nature Goddess stormed out, Pit hopped up with a cheer and followed her, on his way to _finally_ get his grilled cheese.


	2. Why Pit Doesn't Have a Halo

**Why Pit Doesn't Have A Halo**

 **Pit wants to know what it's like to have a halo, so Lady Palutena gives him one. Let's just say he didn't have it for long.**

 **Characters: Pit, Lady Palutena, Dark Pit**

 **Rating: K**

 **Genre: general, humor**

 **Length: ~1,400 words**

 **I've always wondered why Pit doesn't have a halo, since most angel characters have one. Here's my take on it.**

 **Also a rewrite of an older piece I wrote (i'll have something new out soon I SWEAR)**

… … …

The Goddess of Light was sifting through some tomes on her bookshelves when she heard a voice from the door of her study.

"Hey Lady Palutena?" asked her angel, and she turned to him with a warm smile.

"Hello Pit, did you need something?"

"Yeah," he began as he stepped into the room. "So, how come humans draw angels with halos if we don't actually _have_ them?" He pointed to the top of his head, where he wore a gold laurel, but no halo.

Lady Palutena hummed, thinking on the best way to answer. She started, "well, humans usually use halos in art to tell a viewer that a certain person is divine in some way, be they a priest or a deity."

Pit hummed thoughtfully. "But it's not just an art thing, right? Could I have a halo if I wanted?"

"Angels don't have halos by default, yes. But that doesn't mean you can't have one; certainly other angels I've known used them in much the same way as jewelry."

Her angel perked up. "Really? You mean…" Pit trailed off as she smiled, and formed a glowing ball of light between her hands. With a few deft movements she had warped it into a glowing ring—a perfect halo. He held perfectly still, wearing an expression of awe as she placed it over his head, hovering right above his fluffy hair. After a moment, he reached up and gently tapped it, as if to confirm its existence, and his mouth popped open in a surprised 'o' shape.

Lady Palutena had to stifle a giggle at her angel's expression, and wished she had a camera because it was replaced by a wide grin all too soon.

"I've got my own halo!" he cheered, wings fluttering joyfully. Then he hopped around in a circle, watching the halo bounce along not quite keeping up with his quick movement. Finally he grabbed it and brought it down to his chest, letting it go to watch it float back to his head with an absolutely elated expression. "That's so cool!"

The Goddess could only smile with him; she positively loved seeing him so happy. Although he looked a little silly wearing both a gold laurel _and_ a halo, she wasn't going to put a damper on his spirits. "So how do you like it?" she asked, fully knowing the answer.

"I love it! I'm gonna show Pittoo!" And with that he dashed out of the study, new halo bobbing around just behind his head.

Lady Palutena smiled to herself and returned to her bookcase.

She was a bit confused to hear his footfalls suddenly coming back again, and she turned to the door just in time for him to dash in, say a quick "oh and thank you, Lady Palutena!" before dashing back out.

This time she didn't stifle her laugh.

…

In hindsight, the polite thing to do would have been to quietly wait until Dark Pit was done with the boss battle in his game.

But Pit was admittedly not a very patient person.

So instead he barged right into the room, disrupting the dark angel's concentration and earning him a game over.

"Hey!-"

"Dude dude dude look! Lady Palutena gave me a halo and it's _awesome!_ " Pit grabbed it and held it out ( _read:_ shoved in his face) so he could see. "Check it out!"

Dark Pit scooted backwards a bit to get some space before asking, "was this seriously worth the interruption?"

"Yeah! Isn't it cool?" Pit beamed.

There was a moment's pause before he said, "I mean, sorta? It's just a halo though."

"Aw, _come on._ You know you're at least a little jealous."

The dark angel chose not to respond to that and instead plucked the halo from Pit's grasp. He curiously turned it over a few times, then put it above his own head only for it to float back to the top of Pit's head the moment he let go. He frowned.

"Well, it's _my_ halo," Pit shrugged. Then he took it off and tossed it to the side; it soared for maybe a second before slowing and reversing back to him.

Watching that, Dark Pit had hummed and gained a look of deep thought.

Pit looked at him, knowing he'd have something to say.

"What would happen if you threw it?" the dark angel wondered. "Like, _really_ threw it. Yeeted it as hard as you could."

"The past tense of yeet is yote," Pit said studiously.

"We're not having this argument again."

But the earlier question was enough to prevent that argument anyways, because now both angels itched to know the answer. The two glanced at each other, before immediately racing outside to find the perfect spot to conduct their experiment.

They ended up in a large training courtyard, perfect for throwing _anything_. Pit took off his halo and held it close to his chest, looking a bit unsure.

"How should I throw it?" he wondered aloud.

Dark Pit shrugged his wings. "Whatever feels right, I guess."

After a moment of thought, Pit decided that throwing it like a frisbee would be easiest. He took a strong stance to ensure a good throw, and then threw it.

The glowing halo flew through the air in a large, clean arc that came right back to Pit, floating gently to a stop right over his head. Excitedly, Pit threw it again to a similar result.

"It flies just like a frisbee!" he crowed happily.

"And comes back just like a boomerang," Dark Pit observed. He snatched the halo right from Pit's head and threw it for himself. Both angels were grinning amusedly as it came back.

"It's like a… a frizoomerang!" Pit exclaimed.

"No."

"Or, would it be a boomerisbee?"

"That one's even worse."

Pit just rolled his eyes and grabbed his halo again. "Go long!" he cried, and threw it as hard as he could across the courtyard, trying to get as much distance as he could. Dark Pit squawked in surprise, unprepared, and took off after it. He tried catching it before it could loop back, but unfortunately it sailed right over him and back to Pit.

The light angel laughed, "gotta be faster than that, Pittoo!"

"You caught me off guard!" he protested. "Throw it again!"

Once again the halo went flying, and Dark Pit was able to catch it this time. He waved it in the air with a satisfied grin. "Caught it that time."

"Only because I didn't throw it as hard," Pit retorted.

The dark angel got into a throwing stance and yelled back, "then let's see you do better!" He threw the halo as hard as he could, and Pit simply stood there and let the halo return to him on its own.

Dark Pit shot him a nasty look and said, "cheater."

Pit just laughed and threw it back.

Their game continued, and back and forth the halo flew. Their throws gradually got more creative as they tried to outdo each other with various trick shots.

Unfortunately, one bad throw ended the fun.

The halo ricocheted off a tree branch and then a courtyard wall, and both angels had to duck when it came flying directly towards Pit. it overshot Pit, skidded off the bricks, bounced off another wall, and flew through an open window nearby.

A loud shattering noise was heard.

The two angels looked at each other with mirror expressions of silent terror, before racing to see what broke. They entered the hall through a nearby door, and to their horror found the halo stuck inside the shattered remains of one of Lady Palutena's favorite fired clay vases.

Standing over the mess with a cross expression was Lady Palutena herself.

The goddess silently surveyed the damage and the angels' guilty faces, before letting out a sigh and ordering, "clean up your mess, you two." She snapped her fingers and some supplies to safely clean up the broken pottery appeared.

Pit bowed his head and squeaked, "yes, Lady Palutena," before quickly grabbing a broom and doing as told. Dark Pit bowed as well with a small, "sorry, Lady Palutena," and grabbed a dustpan and brush to help. The halo that started it all floated innocently up from the shattered vase pieces, but before it could reach Pit it was grabbed by the Goddess.

"I'll be taking this back," she stated, and with a flick of her wrist it vanished. Pit pouted as he and Dark Pit cleaned up the broken vase, and Lady Palutena returned to her study.

In the end, Pit only possessed a halo for a grand total of sixteen minutes and thirty-eight seconds.


End file.
